


A shoulder to cry on, a light in the dark

by Tyler_Blackwing



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caduceus Clay Needs a Hug, Canon Compliant, Fjord is an awkward hugger, Fluff, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Mighty Nein as Family, Mild Hurt/Comfort, POV Caduceus Clay, Soft Boi Caduceus, Touch-Starved, Wildmother Bros, downtime, he's trying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:27:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27254938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyler_Blackwing/pseuds/Tyler_Blackwing
Summary: Caduceus cares a lot for the kids. He is, however, very bad at caring for himself.So even if he's used to handling things on his own, sometimes it's not enough sitting on a certain rooftop garden in Rosohna.Thank Melora he's surrounded by good people./// This Fic is a virtual hug to anyone who needs it. ///
Comments: 2
Kudos: 87





	A shoulder to cry on, a light in the dark

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short one. I have a Vax/Percy fic in the making, but I really needed something nice and Caduceus needs a hug. Or three. All of the hugs.  
> Hope you enjoy!

"Hey, Caduceus."

Fjord's familiar voice carried softly over to him, accompanied by a gentle breeze on the rooftop of their gifted home in Rosohna. Caduceus blinked a couple of times, strangely having to adjust his eyes to the magical lights dotting his surroundings to illuminate the ever midnight sky.

"Oh, hey." A lazy smile spread over his face, a bit weary from the recent fighting and traveling. "What can I do for ya?"

The look on Fjord's face was… irritating, directed towards him. Compassion, he recognized, and he tipped his head in question. "Well, to be perfectly honest I came up to meditate with you, but", Fjord seemed to trail off. Distracted, almost. "I'm sorry if I'm… intruding, and I don't mind if you don't want to talk, but… are you alright?"  


Another smile. Practiced. Controlled.

"Yeah."  
The low timbre of his voice was more strained than usual. He was tempted to curse himself for it.  


Fjord stepped closer, his momentary insecurity melting as he scrambled for composure.

"You know, Cad, the reason I'm asking's just…"  
He gestured towards his face. Upon Caduceus' frown, he rummaged through his pockets and produced a piece of cloth.  
"Here, uh, let me." 

Getting down on one knee in front of him, the way the half-orc rubbed over his apparently damp face. Not particularly gentle, but it was endearing, really. Fjord wasn't a tactile person, as attentive as he was, so it was pleasantly surprising when his friend put an arm around his shoulder and plopped down next to him. It was an awkward angle with him being so tall, but Fjord kept patting his shoulder. Staring ahead. Very awkwardly. 

Caduceus couldn’t help but give a weak, lopsided smile. “I, really, I’m fine. You really don’t have to.”

Fjord nodded silently for a moment, pursing his lips in contemplation. “Actually, I think I really do.”

His head whipped around and Caduceus smiled in silent pride as he saw the stubbornness he got to know so well break through. Usually Fjord was level-headed, but he did get passionate when it came to his friends. He was lucky to count himself one of them.  
Oh, yeah. He didn’t really listen. Fjord was halfway into an angry lecture. Maybe he should listen. Yeah. Probably. Right.

“... and you’ve been there throughout all of that, taking care of us. And I know you said you’d owe us something but you’re aware that we don’t think like that, right? We’re happy to have you with us, and I think it’s because you’re always so calm that we sometimes, uh, overlook the effect that our travels have on you.”

“There is no need to apologize for anything, Fjord. I’m old enough to handle things - and I’m not alone, either.”

“Indeed.” 

Fjord turned completely towards him now and grabbed both his shoulders, hesitantly pulling him into a hug. It seemed strange. Displaced. But the warmth, the hand pressing to his shoulder blade and the proximity to someone he trusted pulled at his heart as if someone had tied a silver thread around it. He knew that the quiet sob came from his own chest, but it sounded so foreign. So… strange, he was sure he hadn’t cried in a while. Not like that. 

“I’m not much good at this, to be fair, what with not having… an actual family and all”, Fjord murmured against him. “But I daresay it’s better than nothing.”

Caduceus couldn’t help but bury his face on his friend’s shoulder, tears now spilling freely from his stinging eyes. 

“Quite, yeah”, he murmured. A huff of laughter escaped him. He hardly recognized his own voice. “Well - the Wildmother may be with me, but to be fair, her hugs are a bit… insubstantial.” 

Fjord’s arms around him tightened and he sensed a gentle chuckle rumble in his chest.  
“I’m really sorry though, Caduceus. You come from a large family, I don’t know how it goes with them but when they were restored they seemed way more… affectionate than our little group here. Except Jester, maybe. And you’ve been alone for a really long time before the others found you, haven’t you.”

“Ah. Yeah.”

“Do you… did you miss this? I really don’t-… you know. I was an orphan, so I only have stuff I watched to go by, and Beau’s parents are kinda shitty, so.”

“Yeah, no, they didn't really do well, that’s fair…”

It felt good, not to look at anyone right now, not analyzing. Not even thinking a lot, he was just breathing in the fresh air and the leather scent of Fjord’s armor, letting out his tears and concentrating on the gentle voice washing over him like a cool wave at sea.

“So, yes, I think I’m nowhere near Jester’s mom or even Nott and Yeza, but please, Caduceus, do tell some of us if you need anything. Also, Jester’s a really good hugger. I-”

“Ah, that’s alright”, he muttered. His voice was quiet and watery, and Fjord stopped talking, apparently listening closely. “I, uh. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t even think I missed this so much. I’m sorry, I don’t want to bother any of you, but I gotta admit, this feels very nice.”

Fjord seemed to scramble for words. “Uh. Uhm. Right, then.” The awkward, gentle pats resumed while he just breathed against Fjord’s shoulder, sadness and anxiety pouring out of him like from a cracked vase. 

There had been so much baggage he’d collected recently with all that had happened. So many times he’d taken care of his friends, had talked people down from anger or fear or being stupid, and had tried to handle his own feelings by meditating. It worked, usually. Had worked, when he’d been alone - but the proximity to his travel companions had left him longing for some closeness. Their usual shenanigans were fun, it was a lot like his family. ‘A lot’ in general, too, but it had done him some good after the seasons he’d spent on his own.  
But this… this was better. And after the gnawing loneliness had seeped from his heart he felt… warm. It was almost as if a gentle morning sun warmed his back, calm and light and…

“Oh!”

He blinked and sat back up when Fjord’s head moved. “What-?”

It was bright. And warm. Here, in Rosohna. There was chattering in the street below, a bit of commotion as this… ritual took place. A rare occasion, he remembered faintly while Fjord’s hands dropped to his sides and they looked over the city.

For him, it was a sign. He breathed deeply, straightened his back and stared into the bright blue sky, a smile returning to his lips.  
“Ah. Isn’t that nice.”


End file.
